不知不觉 认识你有17年了
Monday, December 6, 2010
~ღ 专属ღ 兄妹的回忆ღ ~ (上)
不知不觉 认识你有17年了
Posted by ♥b3n_BeN♥ at 11:54 AM 0 comments
Friday, November 5, 2010
Prize Giving Day~
Okay. I promise this will be the very very last post I'm gonna post in my blog before SPM. seriously. coz too many things happened today and I just dun wanna miss it ahahaha
so I woke up extremely early today (430 a.m) coz I need to reach scul by 545 to prepare for choir. Quite impressed with myself that I could still wear my choir uniform ^^ Most of the members haven't reach scul yet when I arrived. I started to snap pictures when I'm fully prepared and well-dressed, seeing that this might be the last time I sang in metho choir (*sobs) and had lots of fun taking pictures of a bunch of kids (pei shi, ying tian....) especially pei shi who keeps taking pics of herself xD
I never thought that there would come a time that I could go up the stage and receive any awards other than choir.. but this year I did. Twice. and it feels great. This is also the first time that my dad stayed with the ceremony till the end, and I'm really, really happy abt it coz he has a flight at 1130 to catch but stayed till 10~ thx dad I love you so much ^^ I could feel my genuine smile across my face up to my eyes when I sang with the choir, glancing at my dad through the corner of my eyes. He looks like he enjoyed the song too, and it totally made my day =)
5 years of hardship in choir and I finally earned myself a "pelajar terpuji dalam kelab and persatuan". It seems kinda unbelievable, standing with other excellent students like Nicholas. and to be honest, I think I'm the lousiest one among the other students who received the pelajar terpuji award >< receiving the sijil and money and a small piala is great, but oh do I LOVE that awkward moment when I have to stand on the side of the stage, waiting for the speaker to finish my biodata (and it took what seems like ages) and smile awkwardly at those guests on the stage, most of them were staring at me. I just keep on twitching my fingers and didn't even bother to fake a smile (u can't blame me for that, it looks dumb to smile on your own for 5 whole minutes yeah mate?) and hurriedly strides acorss the stage. I received RM50, I guess it's rm10 for every year of my participation in choir haha. And thx to pn maria who nominated me for this :)
It's not all good for today. I snapped my shoe this morning before I went on stage to perform. It's my fifth shoe this year---
1st shoe snapped when I landed in LCCT KL airport and I had to buy a new one in the emporium
2nd shoe snapped when I was eating pizza with my frens in parkson and I still wonder what have I done to make it snap
3rd shoe was a high heel I borrowed from my sis for prefect dinner. And how dramatic it is for the heels to snap just before I wanted to sing a song on stage
4th shoe (also borrowed from my sis) was during choir dinner. It didn't snap actually, but the bottom layer of the shoe peeled off and I need to slide my feet across the floor when I walk so it wouldnt be that obvious
and the 5th shoe............ It just snaps when I was abt to enter the hall.
sigh... now I realize how dramatic it was everytime when my shoe snaps. It was almost like they have a life of their own, choosing their own 'death' time on my most awkward moments. sigh... guess it's just me and my bad luck.
Did I mention I received rm50 today? well, it's gone now. I was rich for 40 minutes and now I'm broke, thanks to a bunch of choir frens. thx alot, really (*sigh) I shouldn't tell my dad that I was going to belanja the girls to eat. that way he wouldn't have gave me rm150 to chia them and they wouldn't have ordered so much food. At the end I ended up paying RM68.70, much more than what I received. Haiz~ Worked hard for 5 years in choir and earned rm50 just to spend it away in just 40 minutes T.T but it was fun eating with them. really. And I would still love to go out and have lunch with them someday, just don't ask me to pay the bills again = =
that's all for today. it was an eventful morning... and I'll keep this day in my heart =)
Posted by ♥b3n_BeN♥ at 9:32 PM 0 comments
Saturday, October 23, 2010
23/10---晴天
今天 和我的心情一样
是个晴天
我也觉得莫名其妙
被两个人放飞机
心情还能酱好
啊哈哈
今天
和朋友一起去吃东西
没什么
只是吃东西 聊聊天
当然 有东西吃
怎么可以少了Rebecca
所以
也约了她去
1230 到了百盛
去到顶楼的sushi tie吃
结果发现
原来Rebecca没去过sushi tie吃东西
一进到那里就问东问西........
"呃这是什么?" "......."
"寿司要点的还是在轮盘上拿?" "......."
"他们怎么懂我们吃什么?怎样算钱啊?" "......."
"什么是wasabi?好吃的吗?"
本来想作弄她
给她一大匙的wasabi try 下
不过 因为怕闹出人命
还是不要啦
结果只给她闻下wasabi的味道
她就不耐了
啊哈哈
等啊等
结果还是我的最慢到
慢到就算了
那个serve我们的
还把我的寿司弄掉在地上!
气死我也
不过还好
他立刻拿一个新的补偿
我知道这桌有很多美女
不过不用那么激动吧?? =P
吃完了 买单
光是四个人就吃了80多
唉 说要减肥的
又前功尽弃了 T.T....
看到时间还早
我们四个美女就去走走
走啊走
rebecca就提议顺便买11月朋友的生日礼物
ok 咯 我们就去买
过后我想
反正都要买了
顺便把12月生日的朋友的礼物也买去
最后我们买了四个人的礼物
谁的? 不能说啊
不然等下有人告诉那些生日的朋友
那就没惊喜了
结果那些礼物都是rebecca付钱
害她口袋破了个大洞
我们玩得不会久
因为我能出来 已经是十分非常超级幸运了
I don't wanna push my luck haha
230 我们就回家了
只能说
和朋友一起出去玩
真的很开心 :)
才刚踏入十七岁的天空
我就先后知道了一些事情
原来 我生命中的三个他
一个 身边已经有了人
一个 喜欢上了我的朋友
还有一个..... 不懂
我很久没去管他的死活了
不过听说他还活着
而且 前几天他的车中罚单
哈哈
今天 他告诉我他喜欢上了她
我真的很震惊
也万万没想到
"She's good, you're not good and not bad...."
哼 重色轻友的
T.T
不过 我那个朋友真的很美啦
也难怪他会被她电到
一直跟我讲她的笑有多美
唉 恶心到要命
看他信息里充满了幸福的气息
会惆怅 但
我真的替他感到开心
只希望
他不会因此冷落我这个好姐妹 =P > <
.唉
突然有感而发
they moved on with their lives
那我呢?
不管是在感情 学业 或其他方面
我似乎还是停滞不进
所以啊
我要开始努力
努力improve自己
努力让自己的生活更美好 =]
Posted by ♥b3n_BeN♥ at 5:35 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
专属--家人ღ 朋友ღ
首先-----谢谢大家!
今年的生日收到了:--
♥ 6个握手
♥ 4个拥抱
♥ 11封祝福的信息
♥ 24个卡片祝福
♥ 16个"生日快乐!!"
♥ 两封自制卡片♥ 124个facebook留言
♥ 5份礼物(还有一份还没收到~ =P)
真的很开心
说真的
比去年还要开心
因为 我才发现
原来身边有那么多很ღ 我的朋友 xD
嘻嘻~
可是 可是
美中不足的是....
我姐和哥都没送我礼物 =(
而且 姐忘了我爱吃cheese cake
哥更惨
大嫂至少有在facebook留言
他却连一通电话 一封信息 甚至facebook留言
都没有必要 =(
表面上装不在乎
但自己的哥哥没陪我过我最后一年的中学生涯
当然很失望咯....
还有 爸比妈眯
知道我隔天有考试
特地去订了大餐
打包回家给我吃 还有pizza当宵夜
唉
觉得自己 真幸福啊~~
妈眯
对不起
今年是你的50大寿 (老了~半百了~ xD)
本来该为你大肆庆祝
结果因为我和哥的朋友...
结果搞得没什么生日气氛
那几天 我和哥也心情低落
真是对不起啊! > <
不过
谢谢你的谅解
让我知道 你真的很爱我们
我也很爱你 ♥ =) muackx~
嗯 轮到朋友的时候了
首先 thanks for your present Pauline dear~
I really really like it
I think that necklace makes me look cool xD
And thanks for all the memories:~
*singing together in class
*gossiping
*giggling in class
*fooling around
*cursing boys
*accompanying me when I'm nervous
(during the prefect dinner =])
*save seats for me when I'm late to tuition
and most of all
thanks for making my life so much more interesting =)
love you always~ *giggle ahaha
Next--> Dear Bethany
I never thought that you would remember all those things
And some things I don't even remember doing it
like cheering you up when you're crying
or correcting your mistakes (did I?)
But hey
this is what friends are for, right? =)
And I'm sorry, too
for not being able to control my temper whenever we argued over small unimportant stuffs
now I realize how stupid I was to get angry with you that time
I promise I'll cherish every moment we spend together form now on
and that we'll always be Best Friends Forever :)
Thanks for the self-made card
It's lovely and heart warming
and whenever you need an ear to listen to your probs
a friend to give you advices
and a shoulder to lean on when you're down
Just remember that I'm always here, k?
Love you always =) hugs and kisses to you too~
还有 还有
虽然没有礼物 T.T
不过 你的卡片 真的很美
还有我妈眯说你的自恋照很可爱 哈哈
记得 form 1 认识你
是因为那首林宇中的"靠岸"
我也记得
第一次吵架
是因为我叫你 "老婆" (开玩笑而已嘛T.T)
结果
我们就冷战了三个月 > <
Doraemon
就快要17岁了
以后不可以那么任性了
还有
别再那么容易流泪
因为 女人的泪水
比钻石还要珍贵
不要把得失看得太重
别把爱情放的太高
别忘了
你还有你的朋友 家人
还有 知道你不喜欢读书(谁喜欢啊 = =)
可是 学业也很重要
搞好学业 以后找份高薪水的工
才够让你买鞋子衣服嘛
要不然 就找个有钱少爷当老公
可是 我不建议这个啦
因为
你经常在爱情的路上 跌跌撞撞 心痛受伤
以后 也许我们会分开了
到时候 有事的话
还是可以找我聊
还有 要好好照顾自己啊!
我 也一直都在 =)
接下来 我亲爱的zhen zhen(贞志)
谢谢你的青蛙 xD
我只能说 这个礼物真的很...特别=P
原来 你还记得我喜欢这部卡通
(Princess and The Frog)
Prince of Macedonia
每次老师在班前面教课
我们俩就在后面自己玩自己的
结果 到最后
还有问 Jessica En Rou 或 Nicholas
老师刚刚教了什么 =D
Dear aa
你是个看重自己的成就的人
不管是在 钢琴 还是学业
每次嘴里说不在乎
但我知道
你心里还是会介意
这是好事
有要求 目标 才会进步嘛
但 别给自己太大的压力 好吗?
说真的 总觉得自己 带坏了你
自己懒惰就算了
还教坏你 > <
罪过啊罪过
你是个直率的人
敢爱敢狠 这是你的优点
可是 这种性格
有时难免会得罪到敏感的人
虽然此刻你有他保护你
但以后出去读书了
可要好好照顾自己啊
thanks for everything....
我们永远是好麻吉 ^^
Joycie~
你可以算是我中学生涯最久的朋友
虽然在form 2的时候
感情有点僵
但
谢谢你
在我每次需要的时候给我安慰
伤心时听我倾诉
生气时听我骂人
开心时替我高兴
有人欺负我陪我一起骂他
遇到困难时帮我一把
我真的很喜欢
和你天南地北
什么都能聊
没有顾忌
可是相对的来说
你对我也有一定的威胁性
因为
你知道的比谁都多 T.T
唉
这份人情
我永远记在心里
答应我
你也要开开心心 幸福快乐 =]
最后
我亲爱的 Gracie 和晓慧姐姐老师
谢谢你们的Bible
我知道你们一直都很希望我能接受基督为主
Gracie aa Gracie
17岁了咯
不可以再酱疯疯颠颠的了
但
这也是你可爱的一点
永远都那么单纯善良
让身边的人都开心=]
晓慧
我也觉得我们真的很有缘份
而且 从我出生的那一刻就牵扯上了
~你叔叔是接生我的医生
~我们上同一间小学和中学
~你大姐和我大姐是同窗好友
~你大姐生日和我一样
唉
怎么才能脱离你的魔掌啊 哈哈
虽然你比我大
但 拜托你啦
不要再和那些黄瓜青瓜罗卜黄梨什么a ji ba lang 都搅在一起的水了
还有 你不是植物
不需要那么多叶绿素!!
你比谁都需要脂肪~
谢谢你们俩
在我有问题的时候
尽量开导我=)
哇.....突然发现这篇好长@@ 朋友, 要永远开心! 明年也许会各奔西东,但有缘的话一定还能再相聚^^
爱死你们了~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by ♥b3n_BeN♥ at 6:53 AM 0 comments
Monday, October 18, 2010
18/10--续
最近
脑海里一直想着一个东西 一件事情 一个经历
那就是------死亡
好啦又有人要讲我了
生日干吗去想这种东西嘛
我也不想 但很多时候
我一闭上眼睛
种种围绕这话题的问题又浮现了
我发现 十月 对我来说是最接近死亡的一个月
当年 PMR 前夕
10月一日
当整个马来西亚都在欢庆开斋节
我却痛失我最敬爱的外婆
买了最快的飞机
却还是来不及 见我外婆最后一面
我永远 永远记得
在槟城机场
向来坚强的妈妈 见到我 姐和爸后
忍不住包住我们痛哭
告诉我们
"对不起
外婆等不及
先走了....."
现在
SPM前夕
在妈妈的生日
却是一位我敬爱的朋友离去
为什么
每次都在我应该庆祝节日的时候
这样打击我?
前天看到一个骑bike的人
驾车一直歪来歪去 好像路是他的酿
结果一辆车不小心撞到他
他的摩托车整个飞掉
当时 我真的很害怕
但是当我看见 那个骑摩托车的
安全的爬起来 拍拍身上的灰 笑嘻嘻的走去他的摩托车
我真想骂他
生命是如此可贵
有些人想继续活下去都不能
你怎么可以拿生命当玩笑?
万一你受了伤
那那个不小心撞到你的人
岂不是要背着阴影过他的下半辈子?
所以 请不要害人害己
请尊重生命
死亡....
到底是怎样的?
是痛苦 还是解脱?
当一个人就快要死了
是不是像戏里或书里写的
'Their whole lives flash before their eyes
like millions and zillions of short video clips
all flashing through their mind within that split second
the moment of death'
他会不会知道
自己的生命就快要结束了?
在肉体死亡的那瞬间
他将看到一曙亮光
如此的温暖 却又何等刺眼
像刚出生的婴儿 第一次睁开眼睛看这世界
还是...
他的四周 完全一片黑暗
没有声音 光 人 生物
就连空气 也是静止的
感觉到自己正在 falling
像跌入一股黑色的旋涡
falling.... falling.... falling...
into the deepest depth of endless pits....
那些逝去的人
会希望自己的亲友 为他们哭?
还是要他们开开心心的送他们走?
当仍在世的亲友在为他们哀悼 哭的死去活来
他们会否在天堂上
静静的 微笑着
俯望着我们?
好多好多问题
觉得自己的头脑
再也塞不下 chemistry或physic
好疼 好疼
再来 朋友
我身边的朋友
真的很谢谢你们
我知道这几天情绪有点时常
但谢谢你们的谅解
Ah beth
谢谢你的礼物
说真的 我没想过你会那么用心
特地去做了张卡片给我
而且里面写了满满的字
我真的很感动
因为 平时如果我们吵到你读书
你都会不开心
而且现在又是2nd trial
刚才又考bio
你还肯抽空出来为我准备生日卡片和礼物
我爱死你了~~~~~~~~~~~
说起来还真有点羞愧
你说得对
从今年开始 我们经常为了一些小事吵架
真对不起
差那么一点 我可能就会放弃我们的友情
是我的错
我答应 从此刻起
我会好好珍惜你这个好姐妹 :)
还有还有
my dear pauline
thanks for ur birthday present too
I rili like it =]
I'm not sure but did u and bethany pakat together?
coz u both gave me necklace as my present ahaha
it's either that way or I rili look like someone who needs a necklace lol
anyways thanks again sweetie :)
and and
Dear joycie
I accidentally saw her carrying a birthday card today in class ahaha
and by seeing her quickly hiding it from me when she saw me
i knew it's for me le ^^
haha dear dun nid to hide la
fan zheng chi zao you'll give it to me and I'll have to read it sooner or later =]
And dear Zhen zhen
I know you've been up to something these days
and it's rili unecessary coz I rili dun wanna waste ur time preparing things for me when u're supposed to study for trial 2
Yet I appreciate what you do and did for me in this 4 years of our friendship
yes sometimes your boy might be so annoying
but I rili dont mind
and as a fren
I wouldn't force u to choose btwn me and him
coz he's ur lover and future soulmate
so... just wanna tell u that
it's ok to follow what he says even though I'm kinda disappointed
but whatever u do in the future
dun follow blindly but think rationally b4 u act k?
coz
after SPM we'll be going our separate ways
and I can't promise that I could be there for you
so pls take care :)
And you boy
pls pls pls take care of my fren
she rili loves you
and stop quarreling for unimportant things
Life's to short for us to be angry with our loved ones =]
Sigh... I guess that's all for today
this would be the end of my 16th year of life
Going to start a new life starting from tomoro
放下曾经伤害过我的人和事物
开始一段新的生命旅程
虽然困难
但 长大了 要成熟点 懂得为自己打算了
加油吧!
最后.....
祝我生日快乐 =]
Posted by ♥b3n_BeN♥ at 8:06 AM 0 comments
18/10--雨天
今天,就在我生日的前一天,我去了一个朋友的葬礼。 虽然我知道有什么pantang,但我还是去了。很奇怪吧?才16岁又364天,怎么会有朋友去世?你的朋友已经七八十岁了?不,她才22岁。这,也是为什么她的离去,让很多人都接受不了。
昨晚 失眠了
虽然今天考bio 可是还是念不完
整夜只睡了两个小时半
而且头一直痛
很感谢妈咪
因为当我告诉她我失眠和头痛
恐怕这次BIO要飞了
她却用温暖的眼神 告诉我不要紧 我知道你想你朋友
是啊 整晚都在想关于她的一切
当初我怎么认识她
还有
为什么是她离去
我知道我不会找到答案 可是 我真的不理解
刚才在church
看到平时都是笑脸迎人的thomas老师那憔悴的脸
他说
她离去的前几天 他和他老婆才见过她
他万万没想到
当时说的 “Goodbye. Take care.”
竟然会成了永别
不,他说
这不是永别
而是再见
“天下无不散之宴席” 但天上有
等到一天 我们一定会再见面
还有
一位牧师说
“This is not an end, this is a beginning. She left her physical body, but lived in Heaven, where the place is made of pure translucent gold. She may breathed her last breath on earth, but she took her first breath in Heaven. God has done this for a reason. She had suffered to much from her parents' death and her illness. And now, she'll never suffer, no pain, no worries, no illness.”
这句话 真的很对
她是一个很好的女孩
也许上帝知道她累了
所以接她回天国
我一直告诉自己 不可以哭 不可以掉眼泪
我也不知道为什么
也许是因为 她总给我一种很开朗的感觉吧
当我看她最后一面
觉得她 好小只 真的好小
脸上没有表情 如此平安
她的姐姐告诉她 不要怕 不要怕
她的哥哥 哭得肝肠寸断
那时 我忍不住 哭了
我想起当初她怎么教我唱歌
和我们一起跳舞 玩耍
在外面比赛时男生偷偷跑来我们房间聊天
还有许多回忆 全都一涌而上
对不起 我还小 我无法面对
眼泪 稀里哗啦 流了下来
最后只好抱着朋友一起哭
说真的 其实有没有去学校考试
我觉得都没差
头痛 失落 疲惫
根本不在备考的状态中
在这里 我要想bio老师谢罪
对不起 不是我故意不要读
但 偏偏你的科目就选在今天考
所以 别怪我
还有还有 改我的essay时 千万不要吐血啊哈哈
真的很疲惫 先下线睡觉
晚上再继续
晚安。
Posted by ♥b3n_BeN♥ at 2:29 AM 0 comments
Friday, October 15, 2010
15/10
it has been a hectic and unusual day..... I never knew I could experience so many emotions within a day. Confusion and headache when memorizing sejarah, relieved after the exam, exhausted during tuition, peaceful when I was sleeping, happiness when I saw my brother came back from Kuching, grateful, joyous and fun when celebrating my mum's 50th birthday with all my family members united, and grief of the lost of a friend.
还有四天我就正式的十七岁了。说真的,我不是很想这么快度过我的sweet sixteen,而且不懂为什么最近一直感慨时间流逝,and the fact that I'm getting older and older with every second passed. I know it's the Law of Nature to grow old but... sometimes I just wish how time could stop that that very moment of time when I was young, gleeful and worry-free. How ironic it is for human eh? Always hoping that we could grow up faster while we were children so that we can do whatever we want like going out with friends, drive a car, hop on a roller coaster without the need of worrying the age and height limit... yet as we grow older, 我们却后悔小时候没有好好把握那单纯美好的时光。长大了,有了自由却失去欢乐,更想回到当年没有自由却充满欢乐的时候。
今天早上做完考卷后,我开始回想我在去年和十六岁生涯里所发生的事。说真的,如果能给我的那段时光做一个theme,我会选择Love. 去年的我基本上没读到什么书。谈了三场恋爱,一次比一次失败。第一场,付出的爱得不到回报。第二场,爱我时我不爱,不爱我时我却爱上了他,阴差阳错的错过了。第三场,遭到背叛。在两年内谈三场恋爱,不是我花心,我自认每一段都有真心的付出。我只能说,爱神并没在守护着我,或者都是我的 bad luck in relationships在作祟。现在,在几个好朋友无数次的劝勉,在感情里遇到无数次的伤害,欺骗后,我开窍了。寻找爱情,不过是想要在无聊的夜晚有个人陪。有人说过“爱情,要等它找上你,而不是你找它” 我想,这是对的吧。长大了,要懂事了,不可以再轻易坠入感情,让自己受到伤害了。所以,我答应自己在三年内不可以交往,直到上大学后。朋友,要为我加油 =]
十七岁的我,想做什么?首先,是先把这欠扁的SPM解决掉。再来,和我的一群死党疯狂的享受我们还能聚在一起的时刻。还有,考完华语的隔天我要去拉直头发(妈咪终于让我拉了),换掉这陪伴我多年的发型。接着,去打耳洞。虽然我很想在出去读书后偷偷去弄一个刺青,但有些朋友说这可能是个sin,所以.... 仍在考虑当中。脱胎换骨般的改变,是有原因的。想要为生命翻开新的一章,开始新的生活。不用怕,如果一天你在街上看到我却认不出,我一定会叫住你的 =]
最后,我只能说---考sejarah的时间真的不需要那么长!! 长到我都可以回想过去和plan好我未来想做的事! = = 很夜了... 只想结束这累人的一天... hope tonight can have a nice, peaceful sleep....
p/s: Happy birthday mamie! thanks for giving birth to me, raised me and being there for me through thick and thin. I love you always and forever <3 muackx!
Posted by ♥b3n_BeN♥ at 9:18 AM 0 comments
纪念一位朋友
记得2006年 第一次进卫理合唱团她是第三个来教我唱歌的人
她很可爱 开朗 常常是我们女低音中的开心果
虽然她大我五岁
但她还是愿意和我做朋友 在许多方面指导我。
当时 身为合唱团主席的她
虽然经常为我们不肯好好练歌而生气
但 她还是很照顾我们。
别看她人小 她玩起来可是真正的疯狂
有时候她会突然唱起歌跳起舞来
而且唱歌的时候声音好好好大声
她的声音啊 大声到在学校礼堂楼下都听得到
她 也很坚强
那年 我们在national level 的比赛输了
她在知道成绩的那刹那 并没哭
反而很大气的替赢了的那一组鼓掌
一回到房间 她和几个choir members都忍不住哭了
虽然如此
她还是流着眼泪去安慰其他人。。。
2007年
记得老师教我们跳putra putri 这首歌时
是rebekah和tiffany教我们舞步的
本来是要跳iban舞
结果到最后我们都跳起disco和台客舞哈哈
那时 老师还说
“你们唱这首歌的时候要像很娇的猫一样,要像在跟爱人撒娇。。。。你们看!Rebekah做得多好!你们要学学她!”
当时的我们 笑得多开心
Rebekah, though I don't really have the chance to know you that well, but you have been a real good senior, tutor and a friend to me. It is painful to lose you, but as your friend we'll pray that you'll be happy in almighty lord's arm. We'll always keep you in our heart. May your soul rest in peace....
Posted by ♥b3n_BeN♥ at 8:12 AM 0 comments









